Better out than in

A week ago, one of the strongest women I've ever had the honor of knowing, passed from this life and onto the next. Marsi White was the epitome of strength. Her nearly 3 year battle with cancer, proved that time and time again. She always had a positive attitude, met it head on. In part that is why I never for one moment thought that she wouldn't beat it. Her strength gave the people around her strength. I will never say goodbye, because I know I will see her again one day in heaven, but it doesn't help the hurt that everyone who loved her feels now.  I believe however that even in death she is giving strength to those who loved her. I was in Michigan for my cousin's wedding when Marsi passed on. I got to thinking about how blessed I was to have her in my life, as I looked around me, I realized that I also pull strength from the amazing women in my family. I am so lucky to have been surrounded, raised, loved, by some of the most amazing, strong women on the planet. ...

I haven't blogged in a while, I guess I have't had anything horribly interesting to report.. ok I don't now either.. but who am I kidding I just like to talk (type, express myself) :) We had a great 4th of July.  We were at the fair, so we did not get to see the BIG BAY BOOM BUST, however the name is really catchy and for this reason alone, I am a little sad we missed it.  However we were at the fair, we found the giraffe Tanner made in school, we saw real fireworks that lasted more than 11 seconds, AND we saw Weird Al!! Ok ok, I know what you're thinking.. seriously.. I haven't had this much fun in a while. He was hilarious! My kids all loved it! CONNOR EVEN SMILED!! I think he even laughed a few times. As my kids get older, a whole new set of fears and firsts are upon me, for this reason, I've come up with a sure fire way to skip all this teen dating stuff and heartbreak. ARRANGED MARRIAGES!!  I picked out girls for all my boys (I need to start making some...

Trying to find a "real" job after 16 years of having a "surreal" job, can be somewhat challenging.  I was talking to a friend about writing a resume, (something I have very little experience at) she said that the most important thing in a resume is making sure it is accurate and up to date... SO here goes... Amy Eagle San Diego, CA Key Skills: Communication - Proficient at facebook, instagram, and facetime. Generally can not get out of a store, business, or school, without having a lengthy conversation with total strangers. Speaks fluent sarcasm, and developing skills in communicating with angst ridden teenagers. Problem solving - Resolves in-depth queries in a methodical manner, can google search at a very impressive rate, has the ability to deal with van fires, heart breaks, gum in hair, stained uniforms, and scheduling conflicts... with a smile. (sorta) Team Player - Can work with Satan himself (ass...

My beautiful Paige, I was once 14, and I do remember what it was like. Here are a few things that I wish I would have known/believed then... YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL I don't care what some angst ridden, spitefull, spoiled rotten brat thinks. So what if someone is taller, thinner, has blonder hair, or darker hair, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. You have a beauty that far outreaches any super model, you have a beautiful heart. You are an amazing child of God and your beauty shines regardless of the brand of jeans you wear. DON'T SPEND TOO MUCH TIME WORRYING ABOUT NOW Believe it or not, the things that feel like they are the end of the world right now won't even matter in 10 years, hell they won't matter in 10 weeks! It's hard to see past that right now, but know that a whole lot of amazing awaits you in life, and these teen years will be just one drop of water in the giant ocean that is your life. BOYS ARE DUMB! Period. End of sentence. You're young, don't look too ha...

Today I was talking to a lady I have only known for a very short period of time, so she doesn't really know me or my kids.. I feel like I need to preface the story with that.. She was talking about her child and all their goings on, with this sport and that sport and this class and that class. I listened graciously (cause I totally can pull of gracious) and smiled and nodded.  She talked about practices and recitals, and then asked me what I had going on tonight. I said "my oldest has a band concert." To which she replied "That's it? LUCKY!, I wish I got a quiet night at home" Again, CLEARLY she doesn't know my family. With the exception of my hubby, QUIET is not how we roll... The bell rang at 11:40, I collected Garrett and Kaiden and Kyra, played a rousing round of the animal game ans arrived home a little after noon. The dogs had upended the trash can and eaten much of a box of crayons. The boys played video games while a very tired Kyra made he...

I am a kid whisperer.. little kids LOVE me... seriously.. they do! I can't walk 4 feet at Green without my fan club showing up.. I sorta love it! When Garrett says his tummy hurts he means it (Ms.Bridges found that out the hard way, when he puked all over her class) I have two of the best teenagers on the planet (even though they drive my loopy at times) There is a ghost in my house, sometimes it doesn't let me wake up. 2 sick kids and 1 with a girl scout meeting, makes for a VERY quiet ride home from school. I don't understand skylanders The Tupac hologram video that was taken over the weekend at a Snoop Dog concert, has had me amazed all day.. Like seriously amazed.. Perhaps I amaze easily. BUT WOW Tanner will be doing a solo at the band concert in May... so apparently there is ANOTHER band concert.  Connor has one on Wednesday night, and then there's spring fest... weeee Writing out all the things that are going on this summer.. made me a little dizzy...

I've hit a odd spot in my life where I have been deeply analyzing everything in my life.  Call it getting older, growing, up, facing my children growing up, or just  going crazy. I have been questioning a lot of my  past choices. I have re-evaluated my religion, my relationships and also my past. I like to think I am an easy going person, I think that may be true to a point.  I would like to think that I have a caring, loving, accepting heart... which is true to a point.  I also have that ugly monster called "grudge" that I carry around. I'm not even sure I realized it or ever accepted that fact until recently. I don't generally hold grudges I think, but every now and then, there is a wound that goes so deep that I have a hard time letting it go.  Even when I tell myself and believe that I have. I was faced this week with the fact that my reaction to an incident that happened when I was pregnant with Tanner forever altered not just my own, but my whole...