Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Lessons life has taught me, and other observations

Sometimes "NO" is an acceptable answer.

Don't cut people off in traffic, and if someone cuts you off.. don't flip them the bird.. because maybe just maybe they were having a rough day, and the kids were fighting, and they dropped their phone into a thirstbuster, and just for a second was distracted.. I'm just sayin...

Bad things happen, don't let them define you.

Get the "great wall of chocolate" at P.F. changs, you know you want to.

Have a "Yes" day with your kids. Just don't tell them when it is.

Know then names of all your kids teachers.

No one can hurt you, unless you let them. A wise woman once said "choose not to be offended".

Treasure your relationships, but don't let any of them become your "Jesus".

Nap every chance you get.

Love BIG.

Don't forget to be polite. It goes so far!!

Smile, let the old lady sitting on a phone book to drive, back out of the Albertson's parking lot before you, seriously you probably want to give her a head start anyway.

Watch cheesey movies, eat junk food, and laugh, at least once in a while.

Having a friend you can call on, at anytime ever, is PRICELESS.

Always give an honest answer, unless the question is "does this make my butt look big?".

Don't shout at your kids from the sidelines during games. If they messed up, they know, and they don't need you embarrassing them in front of their whole team to drive that point home.

Don't yell at the coaches during games. Especially if I am the one coaching, I will straight up burst into tears in the middle of the field.. You have been warned.

Aduki beans aren't half bad, unless you horridly over season them.

When you take a step back and consider all things, life as a whole is actually pretty funny.

Speak your mind, but don't push your opinions as facts.

Don't let me cut your hair.

Keeshonds have very small brains.

My life is fairly amazing, and as close to perfect as I think I could imagine it being.

Be graceful, have fun, and don't sweat the small things.

Candy corn should be considered a vegetable.

It's okay to do random high kicks and cart wheels.. it keeps people on their toes.

Most things have a punchline.. you just have to find it.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Amy and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

One day Amy woke up and thought "Today will be a great day!" Ok so she didn't really think that, she really beat her alarm clock with the closest thing to her hand and muttered something about it being "evil to have soccer at 8:00 a.m. on the last day of summer vacation." I digress..

Much to her chagrin, her face didn't work. I know what your are all thinking.. Amy has gone mad, no no, the right side was out of sync with the left.. interesting... and I spent all of Paige's soccer game pretty much just talking to Angie, she's used to weird things happening around me.

That's ok Amy thought.. (upon returning home) Today will still be a great day!

*sniff sniff* Quickly Amy was alerted to the smell of death surrounding her house. Animals.. CHECK all is well.. Sink.. CHECK, nothing decaying.. ewww what is that smell. "MOM" Connor says.. "I think it's coming from outside".. I go outside.. EWW EWW.. " It smells like it's coming from the GARAGE!" I suddenly remember the Turkey I set out "just for a minute" on the floor of the garage, to defrost... that was Wednesday.. it EXPLODED. Turkey guts and decay OOZING everywhere! I'm surprised the police hadn't been alerted to a possible CRIME SCENE!

After much bleach, febreeze, and suppression of the gag reflex, Amy was off to have a good day.

The dead car batteries from early in the week needed attention so off to Wal-Mart to drop 80 bucks.. OUCH..

no no today wil be great, fine, fabulous!! IT WILL BE IT WILL IT WILL!!

As I am checking out of Wal-Mart Connor calls, "Mom, I was doing the dishes and then there was this, like, like this big noise in the disposal, and then I looked under the sink and water was just gushing out.."

*BREATHE BREATHE*

So as our heroine rushes home.. songs and loveliness fills her head.. it will be ok.. it will all be ok.

Every towel in the house has been used, water is everywhere, everything under my sink was broken or ruined, including vases ect.

Calmly Amy calls housing (with a smile on her lips and a song in her heart.. err something) and relays the story of the broken disposal and unattached pipe. A few moments later the maintenance office calls and asks "Is it leaking Water??"
WHAT? , seriously?? No it's leaking grape juice you dunder head!! YES yes WATER, it's leaking water!

45 minutes later they are here, fixing, sealing, snaking things, shaming me for the things they find in the disposal.

Now the pipes are fixed, the car is running, the smell of death has subsided, my face seems to be working, and IT'S BEDTIME FOR THE KIDS!!

ahhhh what a lovely day.