Amy and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

One day Amy woke up and thought "Today will be a great day!" Ok so she didn't really think that, she really beat her alarm clock with the closest thing to her hand and muttered something about it being "evil to have soccer at 8:00 a.m. on the last day of summer vacation." I digress..

Much to her chagrin, her face didn't work. I know what your are all thinking.. Amy has gone mad, no no, the right side was out of sync with the left.. interesting... and I spent all of Paige's soccer game pretty much just talking to Angie, she's used to weird things happening around me.

That's ok Amy thought.. (upon returning home) Today will still be a great day!

*sniff sniff* Quickly Amy was alerted to the smell of death surrounding her house. Animals.. CHECK all is well.. Sink.. CHECK, nothing decaying.. ewww what is that smell. "MOM" Connor says.. "I think it's coming from outside".. I go outside.. EWW EWW.. " It smells like it's coming from the GARAGE!" I suddenly remember the Turkey I set out "just for a minute" on the floor of the garage, to defrost... that was Wednesday.. it EXPLODED. Turkey guts and decay OOZING everywhere! I'm surprised the police hadn't been alerted to a possible CRIME SCENE!

After much bleach, febreeze, and suppression of the gag reflex, Amy was off to have a good day.

The dead car batteries from early in the week needed attention so off to Wal-Mart to drop 80 bucks.. OUCH..

no no today wil be great, fine, fabulous!! IT WILL BE IT WILL IT WILL!!

As I am checking out of Wal-Mart Connor calls, "Mom, I was doing the dishes and then there was this, like, like this big noise in the disposal, and then I looked under the sink and water was just gushing out.."


So as our heroine rushes home.. songs and loveliness fills her head.. it will be ok.. it will all be ok.

Every towel in the house has been used, water is everywhere, everything under my sink was broken or ruined, including vases ect.

Calmly Amy calls housing (with a smile on her lips and a song in her heart.. err something) and relays the story of the broken disposal and unattached pipe. A few moments later the maintenance office calls and asks "Is it leaking Water??"
WHAT? , seriously?? No it's leaking grape juice you dunder head!! YES yes WATER, it's leaking water!

45 minutes later they are here, fixing, sealing, snaking things, shaming me for the things they find in the disposal.

Now the pipes are fixed, the car is running, the smell of death has subsided, my face seems to be working, and IT'S BEDTIME FOR THE KIDS!!

ahhhh what a lovely day.


Angela said…
You. Are. An. Amazing. Woman.


And, the kids probably wouldn't have eaten the turkey, anyway. I mean, God was most likely trying to save you from food poisoning that was probably inevitable. Every other family that ate turkeys purchased at that same time got sick. Yours didn't!


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