Saturday, January 11, 2014

Randomness.. Because it's kinda what I do

I never knew that being the mom of three boys meant that all dinner conversations would forever involve bodily functions. Also the word "balls" gets said more in my house than at a basketball game.

Garrett may need a 12 step program to get over his addiction to the "Frozen" soundtrack.

Hands down the best version of "Always on my mind" was done by the Pet shop boys.

I have sneezed more in the last two days, than I have in the last 10 years. I'm officially allergic to Southern California.

I'm predicting the Chargers win tomorrow.

I also predicted the Lions going to the Super Bowl... So take that for what it's worth.

I am convinced that 2014 is going to be amazing! I have faith ( and a lottery ticket) woot!!

I haven't won tickets to anything in almost 5 months!!! What da heck?!?!

It's 2014... I was born in 1974.... I'm staring down the barrel of 40.. That's kinda surreal!!

I REALLY want to go camping!

I'm ready for summer break.. Christmas break left me wanting more..

When I feel like the whole world is falling down on me, I watch scooby doo ( don't judge)

I have a patch of gray hair.. Like almost a perfect circle... It's kinda weird.

I got an owl ball for Christmas.. If you're nice I'll let you come over and play with it.

My house overwhelms me.. So my plan is to completely gut, clean, organize one room a week until it's lovely.

I don't like eggnog anymore.. I used too.. But now I find it gross.

I used to think beer and coffee were gross... I don't any more.

I like crocheting hats... It's my only solid yarn ability.

Friday, January 10, 2014

I wasn't ready

I thought I had this whole parenting thing figured out. I thought I had everything under control. I was this super mom... Yah well that's not true. I am realizing more and more that even when things are going smoothly, it doesn't mean I have anything to do with that smoothness. I know now that I was/ am 100% NOT READY to be the mom of teenagers!!

I'm really not. I do remember being a teenager, but I guess I blocked out the icky parts.

I'm not ready:
To not have all the answers
To let them make their own mistakes
To let them learn from those mistakes
To not be able to fix everything

When they were tiny hurts were caused by falling, and me telling them everything would be ok was enough to make it true.

Now hurts are caused by being left out, long time friends deciding you aren't cool enough anymore. From the fear of the unknown. From school and society impressing upon you that you should have your whole life figured out by 17.

I wasn't ready for that, and I wasn't ready for how much it hurts a moms heart.

My hope for all my kids is that they find friends and relationships that they can be themselves in and are never made to feel small or insignificant. That they surround themselves with people who are ok with their flaws and value them for who they are.

My hope is that they grow from their past mistakes and that they know that at 39 I don't have my whole life figured out either, and that's really ok.

I wasn't ready to be the parent of teenagers, but I'm really glad that I am... Even on the days it hurts.