Saturday, December 29, 2012

reflections of 2012, hope of 2013

Looking over the past year, it's amazing all that has transpired in 365 short days. Parts of this year will stay with me for the rest of my life for better or worse.


 I was fortunate enough to get to see my beautiful cousin Bridgett get married. I spent the weekend surrounded by family, love and happiness. I wanted that weekend to last forever.

My beautiful daughter started high school. Her growing up is having a profound affect on me.

Connor started dating, like as in has a serious girlfriend, it weirds me out that we have reached this stage of  life with him.

Tanner started middle school, waterpolo, math team, and tried out for football. Being the lease adventurous of my children, his new found interests are delightful to me.

Garrett has started playing the saxophone.. which I felt at the time was cool. :) He's actually doing really well, and is quite the rocking 4th grader.

We went on a fabulous family vacation to Disneyland in December.  I will treasure each memory forever.  It was the most fabulous time.

I completed 3 5Ks this year. For my fat gimpy butt that is fan freaking tastic!  I did the diva dash last January, the Coronado bridge run in May, and the color run in November.

I learned how to say no, and step down from things.

I directed a children's musical.

I lost a dear friend to cancer. It will always make me sad, I will never understand it. I will always miss her. Unfortunately it had a real affected on how I reacted to another friends fight with cancer, I am trying hard to overcome that.

Daniel got to be on board the USS Constitution when it got under-weigh for a brief time, only the second time that has happened in a hundred years.

Looking forward to 2013.....

My son will become a senior.. (ouch)

My husband may or may not retire (jury's still out)

We may or may not move (ditto)

Our future is uncertain in many areas, but I am hopeful. I am happy. I love my family, my friends, and I look forward to what 2013 has in store for us.





Friday, December 14, 2012

The face of evil

What does evil look like?

Today we saw first hand the face of evil. An act was committed that we will NEVER understand. No reason, no explanation will ever be good enough.

I, as most of you, listened to the news today with tears, with disbelief, and with an ache in my heart that was unreal. As I sat waiting for Tanner to get out of school, staring into the schoolyard that almost 34 years ago was the scene of "the first" American school shooting, I could not contain the tears in my eyes. The what- ifs?, the whys? They all came to me. I can not comprehend how the parents felt that day, or how the parents in CT are feeling tonight.  They are returning home to a house that will never ever feel the same. A child is missing forever.  A tree with presents that will never be opened, toys that will never again be played with, and an emptiness that I can not fathom.

So what now?? The effects of this have reverberated across this nation. Our school was getting calls asking about our safety protocol.. People are afraid. I had one parent say she was pulling her kids out of school, another who said they weren't allowed to play outside anymore.. Is that the answer?? I really am of the belief that it takes a village to raise a child, we all have to band together to make this world a safer place for all of our children.  We don't need to hide, we don't need to be afraid, we need to stand up, we need to be mindful, we need to love deeper, and teach our children the importance of relationships over material objects, people being more important than our play stations. We need to instill not just the knowledge of wrong from right but the feeling of responsibility to act upon that.

Today our principal pulled us aside at lunch and said we aren't allowed to talk about it... I don't understand that.  I understand not saying anything to the children (obviously) but if I want to share my concerns with a friend, or co-worker, I feel that is where we start to build the foundation of recovery and understanding and compassion.  Communication.

Changing laws will not change peoples hearts. We need to start with becoming a nation of better people.

Tomorrow I ask of everyone of you who reads this to do 5 purposeful kind things.  Set out to do something for someone else, the conspiracy of kindness starts with YOU, the only way to change our world is one heart at a time, and YES I believe it's that simple.

I will spend tonight hugging my kids a little tighter, and changing my outlook.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

38 going on 9

2 days ago I turned 38, it's a bit surreal. I usually tell people I'm 25. I feel 14 and look 70. I think though if I had to pick an age to be forever I would be 9.

I want to ride my bike down this weird dirt put with my brother and the Barr twins.

I want to walk to Plateau.

I want to hang out at Creekside, and listen to stories told by Willie and Big John.

I want to have that amazing excitement and magical aw that I felt watching "Charlie Brown Christmas" for the ninth time.

I want to believe in Santa.

I want to walk out into my backyard and have it be a national forest, not someone elses back yard.

I want my biggest worry to be not wanting to go to school in the morning.

I want to have a sense of wonder about the world, instead of a sense of fear.

I want to go to the 4th of July parade and be excited about the firetruck at the end.

Yep if I could pick an age to be forever I would be 9.

Garrett is 9, he's funny, carefree and smart, and he still thinks I am too. If I can't be 9 forever, maybe I can freeze him and he can be. It's a good age.




Sunday, November 25, 2012

Insane to Mundane, the happenings of my mind

I haven't blogged much lately, not for lack of things to say (obviously) but more lack of time, and cognitive thought.

So here are a few things that are on my mind (because really random compilations is what I do best)

I have been on this insane mission of self improvement for much of my life. I FINALLY realized that I need to improve the things that I feel will make me/my family ect better. I spent far too much life trying to be the person others wanted me to be, not the person I am. People who are truly my friends love me for me.

Once again I am on a weight loss kick... I so got this this time.. I'm determined, and tired of being round.

I love to sing, sadly I'm very bad at it.. Connor on the other hand hates to sing in front of people but is insanely GOOD at it.. seems wrong.

Apparently a dead ringer for Earnest Borgnine attends my church (or so says my son)

I really like my son's girlfriend. I think she's finally warming up to me and not as afraid of me, she's a really sweet kid.

I'm done Christmas shopping (true story)

Despite my desire to deck the halls the day after Halloween, my Christmas decor is still not up.

I need a personal assistant.

Still looking for a job with more hours.. but not too many :)

My daughter has the most amazing group of church friends.

Homeschooling Paige is very tempting.

She's a pretty cool chick, I'm really proud of her.

Smokey ate another wall... he makes me sad.

Power ball is up to 450 million.. I'm gonna win... so don't bother buying a ticket.

We are having goose for Christmas!! So glad my friends who are coming over for Christmas dinner are adventurous...

I may make back up Christmas lasagna JIC

I like to sit upside down on the couch.. helps me think

Garrett spends a lot of time hitting on Connor's girlfriend, it's the funniest thing in the world.

I have magical powers when it comes to playing scramble, no lie... feel free to challenge me.. I'll crush you :)

I'm going to see FLOGGING MOLLY!!!! EEEEEEEKKKK

Did I mention I'm gonna win the lottery?!.. I'm very excited

I have the weirdest looking feet on the planet, they look like hands, only not.




Saturday, August 25, 2012

Who says there's no learning over summer vacation?

So summer is coming to a close...
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
:(
but alas, the start of  a new school year is upon us.

Here are a few things I've learned (or had reaffirmed) over the summer... (and a few random thoughts and observations)

If you watch all the ghost shows on Biography you will learn that you are far more likely to come back from the dead if you are Italian (seemingly so at least.)

If you bury a yoga ball in the sand at the beach, you can use it as a little trampoline.

Garrett is taking to the saxophone pretty well!

I never want summer to end.. I want to freeze in time, right here and right now.

Friends are important, but never compromise your true self for anyone (even the parts of your true self that are annoying to some)

I will NEVER have a useful sense of direction.

One Direction.. isn't HORRIBLE... I even kinda like them... a little.

Garrett can eat an entire 20 oz jar of peanut butter in one afternoon.

I sell myself short.

I only have one child in elementary school... Two high schoolers, and one in middle. YIKES

Tanner starts school in 3 days.  I better get his backpack ready.

I'm ridiculously in-love with my husband.

I want to move back to Show Low (sweet lord can't believe I'm saying that, but it is true)

Spraying EASY OFF on something you already sprayed bleach on, will make smoke, and make you want to vomit.. I don't recommend it.

I would get another Keeshond if given the opportunity.

I LOVE bunny sitting. (I love my own bunnies too) My friends bunny is super fab though!

Don't miss a chance to say "I love you", "You're important to me", or "I'm sorry", sometimes tomorrow doesn't come.

I HATE CANCER

Inner strength is a funny thing, it's subjective, and it doesn't always present it's self in the way you expect/want.

I've decided I need to become a millionaire.. I'm working on that...

I don't want to live in housing anymore.

I have 10 months to lose a lot of weight and look awesome! :)

If anyone is thinking of starting going to church again, you should come to mine.. I love those people! They are my family.

Did I mention I don't want school to start?? I don't.. I want it to be summer forever.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Strength

A week ago, one of the strongest women I've ever had the honor of knowing, passed from this life and onto the next. Marsi White was the epitome of strength. Her nearly 3 year battle with cancer, proved that time and time again. She always had a positive attitude, met it head on. In part that is why I never for one moment thought that she wouldn't beat it. Her strength gave the people around her strength. I will never say goodbye, because I know I will see her again one day in heaven, but it doesn't help the hurt that everyone who loved her feels now.  I believe however that even in death she is giving strength to those who loved her.

I was in Michigan for my cousin's wedding when Marsi passed on. I got to thinking about how blessed I was to have her in my life, as I looked around me, I realized that I also pull strength from the amazing women in my family. I am so lucky to have been surrounded, raised, loved, by some of the most amazing, strong women on the planet.

My mom for one. If you ever find yourself facing disaster of cataclysmic portions.. you want my mom there. (Just don't be late for dinner) :) She has a calm under pressure that I admire and aspire to have.  She fought breast cancer and won, she raised ME and survived! (someone get the woman a medal!)

My cousin Stacy, I look up to her so much. (Yes I'm older), single mom, kicked cancers ass REPEATEDLY and still is stubborn, rude, crude, and all the things I love in a person! She is funny, she is fun, she has a sorta tough exterior, but don't let her fool you, she has a squishy twinkie filling center.

My cousin Bridget,  For being so young (ok 25) the girl is a rock star. She lost her mom when she was 12,  and at that young age was suddenly dealing with very grown up life matters, she helped take care of her siblings and her dad when his health was not the best. If she was an angry, bitter young woman, I don't think anyone would ever blame her, but she's not!. She sweet, kind, giving, and always puts people first. She loves you as soon as she meets you, and I am in awe of her.

My Aunt Kate, From the youngest time I can remember, and still true today, if I am sad, hurt, ect, in anyway.. I want my Aunt Kate. She makes me feel better. She loves unconditionally, I know she always here for me (even when miles separate) She is my go to Aunt, always has been. She's firm, she don't take no shit outta nobody! ;)...  but like Stacy she's ooey gooey inside.. :)

and tons tons more...  I know that I am strong, because how can't I be with all of these amazing women in my corner. I am truly truly blessed...

and to all of you, you will never know how very much I love, appreciate, and am blessed to know you.

Friday, July 6, 2012

this and that

I haven't blogged in a while, I guess I have't had anything horribly interesting to report.. ok I don't now either.. but who am I kidding I just like to talk (type, express myself) :)

We had a great 4th of July.  We were at the fair, so we did not get to see the BIG BAY BOOM BUST, however the name is really catchy and for this reason alone, I am a little sad we missed it.  However we were at the fair, we found the giraffe Tanner made in school, we saw real fireworks that lasted more than 11 seconds, AND we saw Weird Al!! Ok ok, I know what you're thinking.. seriously.. I haven't had this much fun in a while. He was hilarious! My kids all loved it! CONNOR EVEN SMILED!! I think he even laughed a few times.

As my kids get older, a whole new set of fears and firsts are upon me, for this reason, I've come up with a sure fire way to skip all this teen dating stuff and heartbreak. ARRANGED MARRIAGES!!  I picked out girls for all my boys (I need to start making some phone calls, to work out the details.. I"m looking at you Hall, Wright, and Cook families :)), and I am pretty sure I can come up with two chickens and a cow as dowry for Paige.. any takers??

For three days only I WILL BE IN DETROIT (and the surrounding Metropolitan area) I'll be there to watch my (not so little anymore) cousin get married, and I am so very excited.

VBS is a stones throw away. It's kinda weird this year, I'm not as integral as I have been in the past. Very much looking forward to it though. It's odd, when I started helping I was pregnant with Garrett, Tanner was too young to go, and Paige and Connor were going into Kindergarten and second grade... Now this is Tanner's last year he'll get to be in it. Connor and Paige help run teams and rec, and Garrett is going into the 4th grade, it's super weird because I haven't gotten any older.. yet they keep growing up.

I am constantly finding out new things that makes me SURE that we picked the right school for Tanner. I am also learning to let go of him a little. I MAY tend to baby Tanner a little... I'm not saying that I DO, I'm just saying I MAY (a teansy bit)... he's growing up though, and is really maturing (whether I want him to or not)

I have been looking for life's rewind button, looks like there isn't one. Seize the day my friends, we don't know what tomorrow brings, or if tomorrow will even come. Hug your kids a little tighter, tell your friends and family you love them every chance you get. Don't live with regrets, don't harbor bitterness towards anyone. Let go, move on, live, love, never look back.


Saturday, April 28, 2012

It's important to have an accurate resume

Trying to find a "real" job after 16 years of having a "surreal" job, can be somewhat challenging.  I was talking to a friend about writing a resume, (something I have very little experience at) she said that the most important thing in a resume is making sure it is accurate and up to date...

SO here goes...

Amy Eagle
San Diego, CA


Key Skills:
Communication - Proficient at facebook, instagram, and facetime. Generally can not get out of a store, business, or school, without having a lengthy conversation with total strangers. Speaks fluent sarcasm, and developing skills in communicating with angst ridden teenagers.
Problem solving - Resolves in-depth queries in a methodical manner, can google search at a very impressive rate, has the ability to deal with van fires, heart breaks, gum in hair, stained uniforms, and scheduling conflicts... with a smile. (sorta)
Team Player - Can work with Satan himself (assuming he is capable of hemming pants and baking 6 dozen cupcakes on a moments notice. I also put the A in PTA.
Planning and organizing - Refined planning and organizational skills, can get 4 kids, 2 dogs, 3 turtles, 2 rabbits, a lizard and a husband to look at a camera for a family photo. Able to finish large projects, get kids to various practices, and prepare dinner simultaneously.
Systems knowledge - Nervous.

1996- present        
General of own private, self built army
  • Collaborated with each underling, resulting in the ability to complete homework assignments on time.
  • After years of study and research 3 of my 4 employees can correctly identify a laundry hamper, and 2 can locate the laundry room.
  • Monitor employee facebook, cellphones, and email accounts to insure safety as well as protecting them against the temptation to cheat on calculus tests. (hypothetically speaking)
  • Carried out the assembly and presentation of "dinner' with only the use of a cell phone.
  • Supervised, coached and counseled roughly 400000 sports teams, team mom efficient.
  • Recruited and scheduled staff to ensure balanced coverage of chores, ranging from but not limited to: dishes, room cleaning, vacuuming, and locating laundry room to deposit soiled clothing.
  • Adapted and revised daily schedule to successfully complete 1400 hours of work with in the allotted 24.
  • Works pro-actively with team to maintain awareness of upcoming events.  Still working with team to master the skill of informing me of upcoming events.
  • Can play madlibs for 3 consecutive hours.
  • Once made a Halloween costume in 20 minutes with buttons and a pair of old overalls.
  • Can clean up hazardous spills while driving down the freeway.
Community Volunteerism:
For the sake of stream lining this process just imagine any possible event, organization, activity that you could possibly ever volunteer for.....
Yah I've done that....
and it's somewhat likely I was in charge.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OK so who's hiring???!!??

Friday, April 20, 2012

An open letter to my teenage daughter

My beautiful Paige,

I was once 14, and I do remember what it was like. Here are a few things that I wish I would have known/believed then...

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
I don't care what some angst ridden, spitefull, spoiled rotten brat thinks. So what if someone is taller, thinner, has blonder hair, or darker hair, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. You have a beauty that far outreaches any super model, you have a beautiful heart. You are an amazing child of God and your beauty shines regardless of the brand of jeans you wear.

DON'T SPEND TOO MUCH TIME WORRYING ABOUT NOW
Believe it or not, the things that feel like they are the end of the world right now won't even matter in 10 years, hell they won't matter in 10 weeks! It's hard to see past that right now, but know that a whole lot of amazing awaits you in life, and these teen years will be just one drop of water in the giant ocean that is your life.

BOYS ARE DUMB!
Period. End of sentence. You're young, don't look too hard for "the one" just yet.  He's out there, and he will find you when the time is right. (many many years from now) Don't settle for the cute one, wait for the right one, who's kindness and goodness match your own, because you are worth it.

MIDDLE SCHOOL POPULARITY IS ABOUT AS IMPORTANT AS A TICK ON A DOG'S BUTT
Don't define yourself by where you think you are in the middle school pecking order. The kids who you perceive as the "popular" people, are every bit as unsure, insecure, and fragile as you are. Sometime in the not so distance future everyone's hormones will settle into place, and a lot of the nastiness disappears when everyone realizes that you all really are in the same boat.

DON'T BE A DOORMAT
It's okay to be a people pleaser, it really is. Just don't let people take advantage of your good nature, sometimes you have to be your own champion. Today it may be having the courage to tell your teacher that you don't want to be partnered with the kid who doesn't do any work, later it may be a co-worker, a boss, a friend, a family member. You can be nice and be helpful without being walked on.

BE TRUE TO YOURSELF
Don't try too hard to impress everyone else." To thine own heart be true " Don't worry about what others think. Be happy with YOU. Love YOU.  Because YOU are amazing. So dye your hair blue, wear a purple tutu and one lace glove if you want, be unique, be yourself, and love who you are.

NEVER BE AFRAID TO TRY
Sometimes you will succeed and sometimes you will fail, but ALWAYS try.  Don't live with regret or the thoughts of "if only I would have...."  Give it a try! Take the hard math class, try out for the team, learn the banjo, whatever it is.. don't be afraid to give it a try.  You may love it, you may hate it, but at least you can say you gave it your all and you tried something new.

I LOVE YOU  NO MATTER WHAT
When you succeed, when you fail.. I will be here.  Through your disappointments, and your triumphs.. I will be here. When you laugh, cry, learn, love, try, win, lose... I will be here.. and even when I am the last person in the world that you want to talk to... I will be here.





Wednesday, April 18, 2012

A quiet night at home

Today I was talking to a lady I have only known for a very short period of time, so she doesn't really know me or my kids.. I feel like I need to preface the story with that..

She was talking about her child and all their goings on, with this sport and that sport and this class and that class. I listened graciously (cause I totally can pull of gracious) and smiled and nodded.  She talked about practices and recitals, and then asked me what I had going on tonight. I said "my oldest has a band concert." To which she replied "That's it? LUCKY!, I wish I got a quiet night at home"

Again, CLEARLY she doesn't know my family. With the exception of my hubby, QUIET is not how we roll...

The bell rang at 11:40, I collected Garrett and Kaiden and Kyra, played a rousing round of the animal game ans arrived home a little after noon. The dogs had upended the trash can and eaten much of a box of crayons. The boys played video games while a very tired Kyra made her mom a birthday card and then rested for a few minutes on the couch.  At  2:00 we left to go get Paige, picked her up at Pershing and headed to Patrick Henry, did the parking lot swap, got Tanner from Heather and dropped Kaiden and Kyra to Stacy. Connor got out of P.E. at 3 and we headed home.  Listening to the sounds of grumbling kids and Garrett who has taken up yelling out the names of random fruits.

Arrived home by 3:15, homework, Paige destroying what isn't destroyed in her room looking for an envelope full of money that she has been saving up to pay her way to Hume Lake this summer, she seems to have misplaced it and the search has been aggressive, fierce, and LOUD. (sprinkled with a good amount of teenage angst)

Dog # 1 vomited up crayon, Dog #2 spent 20 minutes barking at a music box.

Connor needed to get into his tux, dinner had to be done, and homework needed to be finished.

Tanner is working on a clarinet solo for the upcoming band concert...

The phone rang roughly 15 times, and the doorbell twice.

Tanner suddenly remembered he needed to interview someone for his narrative essay, and felt the need to sing me a song he and his friends wrote about their teacher...(ummm yahhh)
Garrett thinks it's fun to repeat everything EVERYONE says,
Paige is hopelessly 14.

Daniel took Connor to his band concert..

To the best of my knowledge homework is done, showers are next. Garrett announced he would rather not wash his hair for a few weeks.. "just to see"
JUST TO SEE WHAT??? MOLD  GROW?
Hair WILL be washed.

I just found a chicken wing in the silverware drawer..

ahhhh just another QUIET night at home.. who's LUCKIER than me?
I submit.. no one! :)




Tuesday, April 17, 2012

we hold these truths to be self evident

I am a kid whisperer.. little kids LOVE me... seriously.. they do! I can't walk 4 feet at Green without my fan club showing up.. I sorta love it!

When Garrett says his tummy hurts he means it (Ms.Bridges found that out the hard way, when he puked all over her class)

I have two of the best teenagers on the planet (even though they drive my loopy at times)

There is a ghost in my house, sometimes it doesn't let me wake up.

2 sick kids and 1 with a girl scout meeting, makes for a VERY quiet ride home from school.

I don't understand skylanders

The Tupac hologram video that was taken over the weekend at a Snoop Dog concert, has had me amazed all day.. Like seriously amazed.. Perhaps I amaze easily. BUT WOW

Tanner will be doing a solo at the band concert in May... so apparently there is ANOTHER band concert.  Connor has one on Wednesday night, and then there's spring fest... weeee

Writing out all the things that are going on this summer.. made me a little dizzy.  I have really busy kids. We have Hume Lake Camp for the big kids, Summer school, Girl scout trip to Yosemite, VBS, I'm going to Detroit in July, and a family trip to Minnesota, and sending Paige (and possibly me) to Washington...  I need a nap just writing it out.

I can't wear earrings, I need to stop trying.. my ears hurt for days after I take them out.

I found a house to buy in AZ, wonder if it will still be available in two years??

Everything really does happen for a reason. If I have learned one thing in my life it is this.. EVERYTHING ALWAYS WORKS OUT! When you're in the thick of it sometimes it's hard to see, but every bad thing, bump in the road, that I have ever crossed, has turned out ok. 

Smokey is too good for popcorn. Refuses to eat it. For a dog that eats dirty socks and crayons on a daily basis, apparently popcorn is beneath him.

I want to get zoo passes again.. I miss walking around the zoo.. it calms me.

This year's yearbook is going to be SOOOO super cool. (I may be a little bias)

I'm shrinking.. I went to the dr and they said I was 5'5 even... REALLY???  no fair












Thursday, April 12, 2012

Letting go of the past

I've hit a odd spot in my life where I have been deeply analyzing everything in my life.  Call it getting older, growing, up, facing my children growing up, or just  going crazy. I have been questioning a lot of my  past choices. I have re-evaluated my religion, my relationships and also my past.

I like to think I am an easy going person, I think that may be true to a point.  I would like to think that I have a caring, loving, accepting heart... which is true to a point.  I also have that ugly monster called "grudge" that I carry around. I'm not even sure I realized it or ever accepted that fact until recently.

I don't generally hold grudges I think, but every now and then, there is a wound that goes so deep that I have a hard time letting it go.  Even when I tell myself and believe that I have.

I was faced this week with the fact that my reaction to an incident that happened when I was pregnant with Tanner forever altered not just my own, but my whole families path. I'm not saying it wasn't worth being upset over, I'm saying it really wasn't worth being upset for 12 years over.  I've let it alter my opinions and in doing so changed the course and connection for my husband and children.  I know there is nothing I can do to undo those years, but I can move forward with a changed heart and an a more open outlook, I hope I can spread that to my kids as well, and start the repairing of broken relationships.

So the moral of the story is,  let go of the hurts in the past, it does no good to carry them around, you may be hurting more than just yourself.

So here's to a grudge free future.. (excluding of course Matt Duran who pushed me down in the 1st grade and tore my new pants... I loved those pants)

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

because eating worms is gross..

I have been feeling sooooo just sad the last few days.  Mostly little things, that for whatever reason seem like big things, but really aren't in the big scheme of things.  So for no real reason or at least no good reason I have been a sad pittiful mess.  Soooo today despite the gloomy weather I tried to shift my focus, so here is a fabulous pictoral of my day, of...

THINGS THAT DIDN'T MAKE ME CRY...
(drum roll please)

My antique cookie jar collection


The carne asada I had for dinner

My beautiful friend Kristen who called me today at exactly when I needed someone, just to chat
 

How my dog sits on the couch to look out the window


This picture





The teapot my mom got me


This little bug that we get to hang out with (along with her super sweet brother) every day after school

 The flowers from my hubby


My mantra "in control"



Monday, April 9, 2012

and on the seventh day he rested..

I have several religious theories that my mind has developed over the years. Or at least that my mind has further explored and added too..

One of which has been very prevalent in my mind lately.  I see friends suffering, I see illness, homelessness, debt, wars, natural disasters, and as a small minded human, I wonder why.  Where is God?  Obviously he knows, he's omniscient!  So why?

I'm sure you all know how the Bible begins (and if you don't go dust off your bible and read it.. seriously.. it's just a good idea) ... "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth."  What was before the beginning?  God existed, just our world didn't.. so he created it. He created the heavens and earth, plants, animals, water, humans all that we see...  If you take the bible at literal value it took 7 days...

Often times people will say things like "in God's timing" or "God's timing is not our timing" If God's timing is different, wouldn't it be true that God's TIME is different.

"In the beginning" when our earth didn't exist, neither did our days.. as in a 24 hour period.... OUR DAYS are 24 hours not Gods.

In researching this theory (thank you google) I found that The Hebrew word "yowm" means "God day" also a "God Day" , a yowm is said to last up to 2 billion of our years...

so here's my theory..

"and on the seventh day he rested"...

It's still the 7th day....

Monday, March 19, 2012

Blessings

I have been amazingly blessed recently in all areas of my life.  I'm realizing that even the bad things are good things.

Our old van finally went KAPUT!! Our NEW van is kinda the most amazing thing ever.  :) We got a great deal on it, and it's sparkly, and has all kinds of handy little features that I never needed but love that it has. (now if I could just get Connor to stop taping random pictures in the view of my backup camera I'd be all set.

My health has been improving by leaps and bounds. I can't remember the last time I felt this good. I've been making little changes every few days leaning towards the greater good, and it's been an amazing transformation.

Two weeks ago I got an iphone. It was a love hate relationship for the first week or so but now I really love it.

On Paige's birthday we were out to dinner,  a total stranger came up thanked Daniel for his military service shook his hand and paid for our families meal. I burst into tears.  It was so touching.

I have amazing friends. I am truly blessed by the women in my life.   I know I can be a bit over bearing at times (it's my nature :)) but if I am anything I am a loyal friend. Once you are my friend (even if you've done me dirty) I have a hard time ever letting you go. I care, but I am realizing that something a very wise friend has told me several times is very true,  we all go through seasons in our lives. Each season is important, and different people migrate to us during theses times,  and some friends go into a different season at a different time than I do.  I spent a lot of time over the years fighting to freeze people in time, but now I realize that we are just in different seasons of our lives.  I'm still here for all my friends, and I know they still love me, we might just not see each other as much as we once did, and thats ok.  I am blessed to know that all of my friends past and present are still leaving a positive mark in my life. Relationships are two way roads though, so feel free to text me :)

I get to go by myself to Detroit for 4 days this summer. My amazing cousin Bridget is getting married and I get to be there to see it. I am so excited.

My brother is the coolest person I know. He really is.

I have a great husband, through all the ups and downs of life, 18 years later we are still fighting to be together and be a good happy positive influence on our kids. Pretty impressive if you ask me.

All of these fabulous things brought to me by and amazing God who loves me. Everything always works out, looking back in my life in the bad things have become good things. God is good all the time, and I am blessed.

My friend Kristen who is my concert buddy, my people, a constant source of strength. She is pretty awesome. (Even when she doesn't realize she's being awesome, she is) :)

We went and looked at a house the other day. The house I had posted about on my facebook.  The house was such a cute house on the outside. I was in love, I wanted the house, I wanted to make it ours somehow. THEN I saw the inside... yah... moving on :)

My reasons that I am happier right now than I could have ever possibly imagined.




Sunday, February 26, 2012

Seven days of torture , seven days of bitter

ok.. so not really.. but kick ass title don't you think?

So I am now on my third draft of this blog.  Initially I wrote out all the things that have happened in the last few days and MAN did it sound SOOOO depressing.  I certainly don't want to sound sad..  I'm not.  So let me change up the slant of this a bit

Sometimes bad things happen, things we can't control. People you love move, things break, pets become ill, people let you down, relatives pass away, and sometimes you come under attack for just being yourself, but that's life. You can't control the curve balls that life throws, but here are some things you can control:

YOUR ATTITUDE
- This is your choice, yours alone.  People can be total turd munchkins, but don't let them steal your joy.  Hold on to happiness.  My beloved Aunt Pat recently passed away and I can honestly say she leaves a void in my heart, she helped form me into the person I am and for that I am forever grateful. Her passing has also forced me to focus on some other things in my life and how I approach them and how other family and friends approach them.  My advice to you all is LET GO OF THE BITTERNESS, nothing and I mean NOTHING is worth losing family over. Don't let any more holidays go by, don't let any more days go by, you are running out of time. Swallow your pride and reach out to the people who still love you.. Tomorrow may not come.


YOUR WORDS - Say what you mean and mean what you say BUT DON'T SAY IT MEAN! (end of story)

YOUR DESTINY - This one took me a while to realize. Sometimes we feel trapped into a mold, into one way and that this is just how it's going to be, it doesn't have to be. BE YOUR OWN CHAMPION! I have recently taken a few bulls by the horns (as it were) the least of which not being my health. I actually am feeling better than I have in a long time and am pushing forward. It's like living inside my own "choose your own adventure" book.

In other news....

One of my favoritest people on the planet had one of the cutest most beautiful babies I've ever seen. I already love little Charlotte Elizabeth, babies are amazing, I love little people. I get along with little people better than big people half the time.

 I really love kale/spinach smoothies! NO LIE!!! SOOOOO yummy. Oh my gosh getting healthy has never been this awesome.

My dog broke. She is making some improvements, but still stumbles a lot when she walks and falls over. The vet said her brain isn't communicating with her legs...  which leads me to believe that I don't actually have MS, I am pretty sure I have CANINE VESTIBULAR SYNDROME!!

My daughter turns 14 is 7 days! She's gonna LOVE her present! :) I'm so excited to give it to her. :) She brought home her papers last week for high school.. GASP , I am proud of her and her strait A's and her GO GET EM attitude, but I kinda miss my little tiny baby girl. However her teenager self is pretty awesome.

I think we will be getting a new to us car this week.  Kinda exciting. This van that we have , we bought used and has just never been quite right, time to cut our losses I think. :)









Friday, February 3, 2012

more brain vomit

Questions that I've had to answer an oddly high number of times this week.. so here are all my answers...

Yes they are all mine
No I'm not cold
I'm not hurt I just walk like this sometimes
I don't know where your shoes are
You have to do your homework first
No one named Stephanie Lemmins does now or has ever lived here

.......................................

other random thoughts...

I'm proud of my kids for trying new things even when they don't succeed

You can only put so much stock in other people

I love having friends I can depend on

I'm already kinda over the whole gil scout cookie thing

The band sent me a bill

We are going to buy a new car hopefully soon.

I offend way too easily

Starbucks and lovely friends is a good way to start my day

The Trails is yummy

I like my house, it's cute, but I am looking forward to moving out of housing

One of my dearest friends is about to have a baby, I'm over the moon excited

Another is about to move and I'm kinda crushed

RaNdOm ThInGs My KiDs SaY (and do)

*talking about band*
Garrett - "OOOH I totally want to be in band now and I know what I'm going to play".
Tanner - "buddy that says OBOE not HOBO"

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Paige - *looking out the window of the car* "Come on Dominos pizza sign twirler!! SHOW SOME PIZZAZZ!!! "

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Garrett - * "I'm pretty sure I have a good grade in P.E.,  I told Mrs.Patterson I like her hair.. girls love that stuff"

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We were out of butter so Paige buttered her popcorn with Canola oil... (ewwww)

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Paige once put a dollar in a juke box and waited for change...

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Garrett - "hmm I don't think what I just ate was a cookie... I think it was play dough..."

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Confessions of a wanna be rebel

I've recently come to terms with something...

Something that I've been called since I was little...

Something that I resented, and totally believed I wasn't...

Turns out.. In FACT

I am totally a goody goody!

I know I know.. I've tried not to be...

I want to be a rebel

the "bad girl"

but the fact remains...

I don't think I have a rebellious bone in my body.

After reflecting on past events in my life...

Even when I TRY to be ...

I can't..

FACTS

I like following the rules

I can't bring myself to park in the red zone

I married the second guy I ever kissed

I once got snarky with a cop who pulled me over... I wrote him a 2 page apology and took it to the police station.

If I've ever lied to you, I probably immediately told you..

I clean up after people I don't know in public places

I didn't drink a drop of alcohol until I was over 21

On my 21st birthday I had a milkshake

I got rear ended and told the insurance company they could list it as my fault because the guy who hit me was so sad

I like serving at the Ronald McDonald house, volunteering at my church, reading to little kids, and rescuing homeless animals.


Trying to think of ANYTHING sketchy that I do....

so here goes...

my rebel side...

I have a library book that is 6 YEARS over due

and sometimes when I'm by myself, I drive in the carpool lane.

SHOCKING

I know

I'm a wild child

Saturday, January 7, 2012

a few thoughts

My brother will be 40 on Monday

He's older than me, MUCH older

Seriously WAY older

Paige might be the nicest person I know.. no lie

I have learned this week when you think a door is open, don't slam the one you're at until your SURE that next door is going to stay open.. just saying.

Looks like I'm going to have some extra time on my hands.. oh what will I do

One of my closest friends is moving, and I haven't figured out how to deal with it yet. I've decided sobbing uncontrollably on her porch is not the way to go.. (it's most likely what I'll do though)

I want to go to Disneyland

My grandma's house sold.. not sure why , but it made me cry.

I am the heaviest I've ever been in my life.. this is bad.. very bad..

I love my Kindle Fire.  Best present ever!

I should have mentioned BEST PRESENT EVER  when I posted the ugly red shirt that my husband also bought... So he is credited for my best and worse Christmas presents :)

Tanner started water polo. HE LOVED IT!

Garrett and Paige may start as well.

Now that Marching band season is over, Fluffy needs to pick a sport.  Or some activity.  Besides olympic texting, and Full contact Mario Kart

Did I mention that my brother is turning 40.. he's older than me.. I'm younger... he's older...

I love my MUCH OLDER brother

The most fun I have is watching my kids do what they love. Soccer, marching band, whatever it may be... I LOVE it.

I may love it too much

Paige told me after her soccer game today. "No matter where I am on the field,  YOU are the only mom I can hear"... my voice carries.. what can I say. :)

I walked bouncily for 3 miles today.. Seems small, but for my tubby butt.. I was super impressed!