looks like surgery is imminent. He’s in pain constantly, I wish I had a good answer, but I don’t know
I wish I had someone who I could lean on, but there is no one.
My world is kinda falling apart.
We find out more Monday.

Times like this

It’s time like this that I wish I had a friend here I could talk to. Someone who I could call and not feel like I was bothering them. It’s ok though. I’ll just talk to Smokey, he’s a very good listener. :)

Today was a good day. Garrett was able to stand, so that was awesome.

Met with the principal yesterday, and it went much better than I anticipated. As long as Garrett keeps his grades up she’s not going to worry about absences. He has straight A’s so I think his pretty solid.

How much until I drown?

I seriously don’t know how much longer I can do this.

I can’t keep sending him out the door in tears feeling that I’m setting him up to fail.

I’m treading water on the Titanic and inevitably the ship is still going to sink.

Didn’t see the forest through the trees

so focused on upping PT and building muscles etc etc, totally missed the fact that he has a cold. They kicked him out after a few minutes.... they were judging me harshly. 😳

Fucking clowns... amirite?

Lesson of the day:

Never tell anyone bout your irrational fears, especially legit, can’t sleep, night terrors type of  fears.... apparently it then becomes a joke to send you everything related to such fear.

Maybe I should mail them all boxes of black widows... I’m sure they’d find it just as hilarious as I’m supposed to.


So let’s get to the point...

He fell asleep listening to “you don’t know how it feels” on loop. Proud or sad? A bit of both I’d say.

Down 11 lbs

This all stress diet is working out great. I should write a book.