I’m sorry you never knew them

I really am. Early on we really tried, and after a while we tried less. That’s on us. However how much did you try? How much did you reach out? It really goes both ways. I’m sorry that eventually I got exhausted, I’m sorry that I let life get in the way, but you need to realize that you did too.

If you knew him you’d know that he’s a teddybear behind that booming voice. You’d know that he sings so well even though he doesn’t think so. You’d know that he’s unsure of himself sometimes but can always talk a good game. You’d know he’s charming and charismatic. If you knew him you’d know his sense of humor, you’d know that he secretly loves it when people say he looks like weird Al, you’d know his laugh is contagious and his compassion is unmatched. If you knew him.

If you knew her, you’d know wit and sass and the biggest kindest heart. You’d know the scariest thing she’s ever done is let herself fall in love. You’d know she’s a fighter, and smart so freaking smart. You’d know the brightest, bubbliest, sweetest girl. You’d know she loves the Jonas Brothers and about 100 bands you’ve never heard of. You’d know she’s a people pleaser ad goes out of her way for everyone. If you knew her.

If you knew him, you would know he’s shy not aloof. You would know he doesn’t say much, but the things he does tell you are the most important to him. You’d know he struggles, but you’d know he overcomes. You’d know he’s searching for his path in life but you’d be in his corner knowing he’ll find it. You’d know that he’s the most loyal person you’d know. You’d know that he’s crazy smart and knows a whole lot about most things. You’d know he’s funny and fun to be around. If you knew him.

If you knew him, you’d know his body is sometimes broken, but his mind is always sharp. You would know his ridiculous sense of humor, and his ocd. You’d never forget to rinse your dishes in his presence. You’d know someone who is the toughest person you’ve ever met, but will also never walk past a dog without stopping to snuggle it. You’d know he loves math and thinks English is a waste of time. You’d know he has an eclectic taste in music, but you’d learn an appreciation for Sabaton and Marty Robbins.  If you knew him.

I wish we’d done a lot of things different, but all we can do is our best. Grudges are too heavy, and only weigh down your heart. I wish you knew the great people they grew up to be, but it’s not too late... you still can.

Comments

Julann said…
Love love love love this!!!! And I knew some of those things and learned some new things!
Thany said…
Anyone who knows them is better in their lives for it.
Keep writing. I love it when you write.

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