Not cool man

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I’m not cool. I never have been. That’s not up for debate, it’s just a fact. I’ve never had people clamoring to be my friend, I’ve always been one of those outliers in groups that’s kind of annoying and no one really notices if they are here or not. I’m good with that. I can count my true friends on one hand and honestly that’s not a bad thing.

I dealt with bullies my whole life, some of whom now decided they want to be friends on social media,.. which is weird if you ask me,, but whatever, I’ve never been much of a grudge holder.
It took me a long time to realize that others opinions of me were just that, others opinions. If I truly believe in a cause, I don’t let the opinions of others sway that. So why do we allow the opinions of others to sway how we see ourselves?

I’m loud, and sometimes super quiet. I say generally the wrong thing, I have poor timing. I talk wayyyy too much. I carry more weight currently than I should. I’m aware of all those things about me, so why do I still let it destroy me when others point out those same things? 
The truth is that I let my own insecurities and fear push me into a hole, and for a very long time I stayed there.

Honestly though, I like me. I’m funny and witty. Yah I’m friggen awkward and broken sometimes, but that’s ok. I’m no longer offended at the invites and calls that never come or the texts I don’t receive, I still reach out, often garnering no response but that’s not on my end.  I’m just me, and I’m really ok with that.

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