Sunday, November 2, 2008

Pulling back vs pulling my hair out

I have always had an aversion to saying "no". For some reason the word "no" has always eluded me. I want to say no.. sometimes I plan to say no, but for one reason or another it always goes something like this..

Random person " Hey Amy, I need you too.... sew, sing, swim, jump through fire, build an arc, paint a master piece with your toes"..

Amy - (thinks - "say no, say no, your too busy you can't, you have other things to do , say no") but Says " sure no problem."

Yesterday I said no.. it felt good. It was something that I KNEW would overwhelm me even more than I already am. Being that I have spent most of October in a continuous panic attack, and steady stream of tears it felt actually good.

I hate HATE HATE letting people down, but realized that I have been letting my family down. I over commit and over commit, and then my kids suffer. That's not fair to them. It's also not fair to the people I am commiting too, that I take on so may things that I do a sub-standard job of whatever was asked of me.


A very wise friend said to me once that our most important and first ministry should always be at home. I need to live by that a little more. I am going to FIRST focus on getting my house cleaned (feel free to come on over and help :) :) ) SECOND spend a lot more time, listening to Paige's stories, helping Connor with homework (and by helping I mean dialing Aunt Katie's number for him), reading to Garrett, playing guitar with Tanner..

So I said "NO".

It may be a continuing trend.

Not to say that I don't LOVE to help and won't mend the occasional skirt or fill in when you sitter flakes, I LIVE for that, but I am learning what's important, and where to put my priorities, and it is REALLY ok to say no, you all still love me. :)

5 comments:

Rindie said...

I think it is great Amy!
Love you!
Rindie

Missy Shell said...

Way to go, Amy! :-)

Angela said...

I am very proud of you. As a former Mrs. I Always Say Yes, I know firsthand the liberation (and sanity) that comes with saying no. Have you read Boundaries, by Dr. Henry Cloud? We're doing that study right now in my Tuesday morning group and it's been really amazing. Also, Dobson's Bringing Up Boys touches greatly on the fact that boys HAVE to have down time at home WITH their parents. When we set into that "routine panic" mode, constantly here and there and everywhere, they are the ones that suffer. I have to go through this, too. Cutting back what I think is necessary. Saying no to things that are good. It's hard, but essential to a healthy, happy family.

Yay for you!!!! Yay. For. You.

Thany said...

You should listen to Angela...you guys have very similar lives.

I am so very proud of you-you take care of your family, girl. They are such a gift!

I love you.

*emmy said...

I love this post because it made me so happy for you. Family first and everything else can come later. Your hubby and your kids need you so good for you =^).

Love you.