Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Once upon a life...

The story you are about to read is true.. the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

It was a dark and stormy night, only it was sunny and about 4:30, and our heroine of this story (we'll call her "Amy") was driving her children home from church. (We'll call these children, Connor, Paige, Tanner and Garrett)  Suddenly there was a "POP" followed by a "CRACK" followed by a somewhat disturbing knocking noise.  When I (err I mean "Amy") drove straight and didn't make any left turns, the noise ceased. Problem solved no turning...

The next morning, things did not go so smoothly... While driving home from school the POP and CRACK were joined with a whirring, a crunching and a very unnerving jiggling.  This clearly was an issue!! After limping the car home, it was decided that it was CLEARLY undriveable.  Fortunately for our fearless hero she had her husbands car! Now her husband ,we'll call him Daniel, was deployed in what we'll call "the Navy".  She went to start "Daniel's" car, only to suddenly remember something about him saying "make sure you start my car every week."  Turns out that STARTING a car makes sure that crazy things like the BATTERY doesn't go deader than a flippin door nail! So car is dead, van is not healthy... Our heroine thinking quickly , very gingerly backs out the van and hooks up the jumper cables, after getting the car running, the van is taken to a mechanic.. who we will call "Al" ( cause I really don't know his name)..

After walking home from dropping the van off it's time to pick the kids up from school, out to the car.. HOLY CRAP the hood won't latch. WON'T LATCH. I drive very delicately and slowly to the school, all he while the hood is bumping up and down.. I am just SURE it's going to fly off.

Make it to school only to find a monsoon status crying Tanner who recently discovered that a video game he has been searching for for month was at the home of a friend. Insisting we go immediately to retrieve game, we first must retrieve PAIGE who has now been standing out in front of her school for 20 minutes... Finally Paige is  retrieved, game is retrieved, time to slowly giggle the car home. OK HOME AT LAST.. car place calls.. Al says .. "The left front strut broke, went through the strut plate and is hitting the tire", When they jacked the car up the wheel swung down!!! (no kidding) When the repair bill amount was revealed.. I almost lost it.. ok I did lose it... However Al was nice enough to give me nearly 200$ in "I need to do something to make this lady stop crying" discounts.  So off I walk to pick up the car and pay the 500$ remaining .. of course it rains.. go figure (just call me ziggy) :)


So what has our heroine learned from this adventure?

I'M TRADING MY VAN IN AND GETTING A PONY!!

the end

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