Say what?!

If you hang out in my house for any length of time, don't be alarmed if you hear any of the following...

On a side note, I just don't like people.

That picture is in Spanish.

I was thinking wrong generationally.

I don't date people, I hate people!

There was a bird in the back yard, it was like a finch, and I was gonna catch it and name it Frank... But it flew away.

I don't like loud people
-- You're loud---
I'm awesome though, I don't like non awesome loud people.

He's talking on an iPhone!!! He's a fake hobo!!! He's a fauxbo!!!

Well it's the best YOU'VE ever made it.

Who knew magic sounded so bad!

Wanna see me roll my stomach?

We didn't have any bread or peanut butter, so I made my sandwich with pound cake and frosting.

You realize, I was actually helping you by pooping with the door open...

You'll miss me when I move out in 2-8 years....

It's got Tom Stupid Cruise in it..
--"oh is that his middle name?"--

I'm on the afrin 12 step program

I want to smoke cigars, just enough to get a smooth raspy voice.


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