Better out than in

I never knew that being the mom of three boys meant that all dinner conversations would forever involve bodily functions. Also the word "balls" gets said more in my house than at a basketball game. Garrett may need a 12 step program to get over his addiction to the "Frozen" soundtrack. Hands down the best version of "Always on my mind" was done by the Pet shop boys. I have sneezed more in the last two days, than I have in the last 10 years. I'm officially allergic to Southern California. I'm predicting the Chargers win tomorrow. I also predicted the Lions going to the Super Bowl... So take that for what it's worth. I am convinced that 2014 is going to be amazing! I have faith ( and a lottery ticket) woot!! I haven't won tickets to anything in almost 5 months!!! What da heck?!?! It's 2014... I was born in 1974.... I'm staring down the barrel of 40.. That's kinda surreal!! I REALLY want to go camping! I'm ready for summer brea...

I thought I had this whole parenting thing figured out. I thought I had everything under control. I was this super mom... Yah well that's not true. I am realizing more and more that even when things are going smoothly, it doesn't mean I have anything to do with that smoothness. I know now that I was/ am 100% NOT READY to be the mom of teenagers!! I'm really not. I do remember being a teenager, but I guess I blocked out the icky parts. I'm not ready: To not have all the answers To let them make their own mistakes To let them learn from those mistakes To not be able to fix everything When they were tiny hurts were caused by falling, and me telling them everything would be ok was enough to make it true. Now hurts are caused by being left out, long time friends deciding you aren't cool enough anymore. From the fear of the unknown. From school and society impressing upon you that you should have your whole life figured out by 17. I wasn't ready for that, and I wasn...

I have no price tag. No amount of money is equal to me. Joy is free Kindness has no cost. Christmas didn't used to come with a price tag. My stocking always had an orange and walnuts in it. My favorite Christmas present was a bike my dad rebuilt for me. Joy came from snowball fights and family visiting. Furthermore, no amount of money insures a good Christmas and lack of such does not mean a bad one. ( I don't care what Kay jewelers commercials say) So find your joy this Christmas, but not in a department store. My happiness can not be found under a tree. I will make presents, enjoy time with my family and have the most amazing holiday ever, I encourage you all to do the same.

I'm actually 5'5 I'm horribly insecure I have seen ghosts I don't like my birthday, it's a cursed day. Like legitimately cursed. I always get panic attacks around this time of year I'm terrified of the dentist I think Connor has the best voice of anyone I know Sometimes I drive in the carpool lane when I'm alone I'm not very patient I can never tell if people like me I hide in the closet when I'm upset I've written 1 whole and 4 partial books I love owls The thing that stresses me out the most in life is money ( actually the lack there of) I find it absolutely surreal that I'm turning 39 If I ever win the lottery I'm hiring a personal organizer My house overwhelms me I'm addicted to nasal spray I have long philosophical discussions with my dog I've become really good friends with some of the people from my youth that I never really knew for as long as I've known them I tell the door to door meat salesman that I'm vegan I w...

A few weeks ago I posted a picture of Paige's bedroom wall. She had cut up a magazine to make the giant wall art... Here's a little more back story. I've been a bit funky lately.. And not in the " won't you take me to" way. Stressed. Trying to find a career. Trying to go back to school. Daniel's car is about to blow, not sure how we'll get Christmas for the kids, Connors graduation coming up, I just turned old type stressed. So here I was sitting in my dining room, stressing, having my little pitty party, when I noticed cut up bits of magazine everywhere. So now I'm stressed and annoyed. I'm in the midst of having a deep conversation with God about how I think all my life's woes could be fixed, ( i.e. Lottery, giant box of money, randomly finding some giant gold bars... Or something equally plausible ) if only he would just get on board with my plan. That's when I went into my sweet girls room, and saw this... ... Message received. ...

Tis the season of gratitude! Everyday I see all flavors of thankfulness popping up on my social media. Ranging from the deeply sentimental "thankful for Bob who saved my life back in 84'.." To the thankfulness space fillers " yay for fuzzy socks!" Now don't get me wrong I love the sentiment, but I also challenge all you thankful posters not to lose sight of gratitude for the next 365. So in the spirit I've been contemplating just what I'm thankful for, and more importantly being truly grateful for what I have in my life. So here are a few thoughts of mine... I am thankful for: 4 kids who are independent thinkers. Who are ok breaking the mold, who really don't fit in any one category. For a wonderful husband who still loves me no matter how many times I completely mess up. If I had wound up with any one else I'd probably be buried in a desolate area somewhere. Not sure another human exists that could put up with me. For my faith, for knowing ...

Ya know how when you drive the same way to work or school everyday that eventually it just kinda drives itself. You get on the freeway and then bam you're home. You don't really recall driving past some of the things you know you passed, but you know you passed them because here you are at home. Autopilot I feel like my life is on autopilot. I've been on this freeway, and arrived here at my current life, but I don't really know how I got here. the good the bad the ugly, it all just happened. And here I am, bam.. mourning the loss of my kids youth as well as my own. I'm not young anymore, that's actually a lot easier to come to terms with than the fact that my kids aren't either. For so many years my identity has been this busy mom with 4 little kids who needed me to do everything for them, and now I'm not. I'm trying to figure out who I am now, and trying hard not to lose sight of the fact that I have a 10 year old, who still has a lot of growing u...