Better out than in

20 years ago we had this great idea that we should start a family. Being 20, and completely stupid  I thought "hell yah"! This should be cake right?  Off to the store to buy cute little baby things, it's going to be so fun!!! Then the baby is born and reality sets in. If you're like me, then comes the one after that.. then the next one, then the one after the last "last" one... et al.. but I digress. When you are first handed your little fat smooshy ball of baby, you have dreams of grandeur.  You are going to be the BEST mom/dad ever. Your kid is going to be smart, and funny, and popular, and a athlete, and probably know 11 languages, and that's all before they even start kindergarten... and then once more reality sets in. We all want the best for our kids. While I have no issues at all with your (or my) child being any of the above mentioned fabulous things... what is really the most important thing that we can instill in our kids?  If you ask m...

Damn I've been obnoxious lately! I was scrolling through the last few months of facebook... Sweet baby Jeebers how have ya'll put up with me and not smacked me? Kudos to you all! Seriously though, did not realize how whiny I've been sounding. So in order to get it all out of my system and in the interest of full disclosure/ cheap therapy/ I really like writing... Here's my brain vomit as of late.. I'm trying to focus on the positive, look for the silver lining, two in the hand is worth three in the bush, don't take wooden nickels (insert your cliche here), but daaaammmmmnnnnnnn, I feel like a really bad MMA fighter, the one that ya know is going to get his ass kicked, but your still silently rooting for.. That's me. It's round three and I have lost all cognitive thought, but keep fighting for some unknown reason. I keep dreaming that a box with 5k shows up at my door. Like seriously 20 times. I'm going to psycho analyze myself for a second.. I belie...

20 years ago today: I was 19. I knew everything and had my life completely planned out and everything has gone 100% as planned. The End JUST KIDDING!!!! 20 years ago today: Our story begins with fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles... Just call me "Buttercup". Ok ok ok... sooooo 20 years ago today: This goofy awkward girl .. somehow talked this super smart, handsome boy into marrying her. Poor thing had no clue what he was signing up for. Seriously anyone who can deal with me day in, and day out for 20 years deserves some sort of metal, actually I do believe it's one of the precursors to being canonized a saint. 20 years of deployments, navy moves, schedule changes, duty nights, late nights, and early mornings. 20 years of kids who say embarrassing things, run jog-a-thons backwards and reveal all your quirks to their teachers. 20 years of band concerts, sports practices, sick babies, sassy teenagers, and now adult chi...

Yesterday social media and the world erupted with the news of Robin Williams death. As everyone else I was deeply saddened. The more that came out about the circumstances the sadder it became. One thing I can say is .. Don't speculate.. You truly can't fathom what was going on inside him. Only a very small number of people know this. I'm clinically depressed. I've spent the last 20+ years on and off various medications. I've spoken to more psychiatrists than I think was needed. Yet the demons remain. I am a master at hiding it. I'm smart, I'm funny, and people who don't know me well, tell me I'm so together, and they don't know how I do it. I joke and make light of most things including this. It's what the world sees. What you don't see is the days I physically can't get out of bed. The days that the voices are winning and I let the world become so much bigger than me. I hide those days. I want people to only see the funny, happy, eve...

Last week Paige and I had the fabulous opportunity to go back to Michigan for 6 days. I hadn't been back in 2 years, for Paige it had been much longer. It was amazing how time melted the second we got off that plane. As soon as I see my cousin it always feels like I just saw her yesterday, we have this share-a-brain thing going on. The more people I saw the more time didn't exist. We got to see my most amazingest aunt ever, they were letting us borrow a car to drive up to Mio.. My uncle made me drive him around the neighborhood first.. True story :) On the 4th of July we drove up to the cabin. If you've never been to the cabin, I'm not sure I could ever justifiably explain it. It's so much more than a building or a place. It's where I keep my childhood. It's picking blueberries in July, it's sparklers, it's giant fire pits, it's staying up singing until 2 a.m. It's where Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Paul, Riley, Aunt Pat and so many others will...

I know most of you think I'm an open book, and mostly I am. There are a few topics however that I only broach with very few. Politics, I believe what I believe and that's good enough for me. My volunteerism.. Not sure why, but I never feel the need to discuss how many hours I put in where doing what.. Ok that ones a little weird... The other one that I keep close to the cuff is parenting. Not because I think I'm doing a better or worse job than anyone else, but because I respect all my friends and family and how they parent. I recently joined a Facebook parenting group.. The funny thing is I had quit a military mamas group because of the drama.. Turns out civilian mamas are just as crazy or crazier. :) We are all on the same team kids! Respect give a bit, you'll get a bit. As I enter into the newest chapter of parenting the one where I'm the parent of an adult, I've done a lot of thinking about where I've been and where I'm going. 1. I am totally ok bein...

We are less than 60 days till graduation. I have so much to do.. So much to process.. I've decided to have Connor's party at my house... Eeeeek Teenagers are weird. I remember being a teenager.. I don't remember being weird. It's never okay to say mean things. If a "joke" is hurtful.. Best to keep it to yourself. That's true at any age. Our lives are changing. We will most likely be retiring from the Navy within a year. I go from excited, to terrified and back again. Pray for us as we enter this next adventure. I have accumulated A LOT of shit in the last 14 years!! I have a lot of culling to do. Anyone wanna come help? :) If you want a fabulous Connor graduation announcement, please message me your mailing address. I made some pretty amazing kids, and I am so super proud of all of them. They aren't perfect, but they are pretty darn awesome, I'm a pretty lucky mama. Someday I won't worry about money.. Someday I'll actually make it from pay...