The wonderment of middle of the night T.V.
Get your credit cards ready kids, because we are entering the amazing world of late night infomercials.
The products that I never knew I needed, but surprisingly think I do now.
Like for instance, the SLAP CHOP
however the guy in this commercial is probably going to give me nightmares, but man will I be dicing some tearless onions!
Then there is the IN-STYLER
now at first I thought, "Well that's amazingly ridiculous", and then I thought, "I wonder if it works?", and THEN I thought "Gee that looks cool" however I know I would use it once get frustrated because I tied my hair into a giant knot and never use it again.
The PILLOW-PETS on the other hand.. TOTALLY getting one of those.
Then there are the infomercials that are just TOO good to be true like the instant face tightener serum
and the pillowcase that makes you look younger by sleeping on it.
However the majority of infomercials are things that NO ONE in their right mind would ever purchase!! (my advanced apologies if you already own some of these items)
Thing #1 that should have never been invented..
are you kidding me?!! Because my rear doesn't quite block ALL of the sun yet, I would like a padded panty so that my butt looks even bigger!! What woman wouldn't want that?!
#2 THE SHAKE WEIGHT -
Ok ok, maybe it works, but I'm pretty sure guys have been doing that motion for years, and I don't see a lot of guys sporting those rock hard muscles.. Just a rock hard.. uhhhh never mind...
#3 KUSH SUPPORT -
Lets not leave out the pets!
You can get your cat the EMERY CAT
I hate cats as much as the next guy, but even I wouldn't let them rip their claws off with a cheese grater.. that just seems wrong!
Now how could I possibly pass up BARK OFF
This handy little device makes your dog stop barking with just the press of a button. However if any of you have met MY dog, you would probably quickly surmise that the odds of this product actually making him bark MORE are probably pretty darn high.
I must of course give a special honorable infomercial mention to things that have already BEEN invented, like for instance
(but hey, looks like it comes with the SLAP CHOP!)
and THE CARDBOARD BOX
(ok so it's a cardboard box WITH a handle)
Well I am off to curl up in my SNUGGIE
next to my COZZY FIRE
(why yes it IS a giant picture of a fire, but it apparently heats up.. and you hang it on your wall... uhhhhhh... what could POSSIBLY go wrong there?)