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Tired weary Amy brings you (drum roll please)

 The wonderment of middle of the night T.V.

Get your credit cards ready kids, because we are entering the amazing world of late night infomercials.

The products that I never knew I needed, but surprisingly think I do now.

Like for instance, the SLAP CHOP

however the guy in this commercial is probably going to give me nightmares, but man will I be dicing some tearless onions!










Then there is the IN-STYLER


now at first I thought, "Well that's amazingly ridiculous", and then I thought, "I wonder if it works?", and THEN I thought "Gee that looks cool"  however I know I would use it once get frustrated because I tied my hair into a giant knot and never use it again.





The PILLOW-PETS on the other hand.. TOTALLY getting one of those. 












Then there are the infomercials that are just TOO good to be true like the instant face tightener serum


and the pillowcase that makes you look younger by sleeping on it.











However the majority of infomercials are things that NO ONE in their right mind would ever purchase!! (my advanced apologies if you already own some of these items)

Thing #1 that should have never been invented..
BOOTY POP!!


are you kidding me?!!  Because my rear doesn't quite block ALL of the sun yet, I would like a padded panty so that my butt looks even  bigger!! What woman wouldn't want that?!





#2 THE SHAKE WEIGHT -


 Ok ok, maybe it works, but I'm pretty sure guys have been doing that motion for years, and I don't see a lot of guys sporting those rock hard muscles.. Just a rock hard.. uhhhh never mind...





#3 KUSH SUPPORT -
 Even if you didn't think booty pop and shake weight were inappropriate commercials.. How can this NOT look wrong??!! Also the tag line "a good nights rest for your breast" is too much, even for me!





Lets not leave out the pets!

You can get your cat the EMERY CAT


I hate cats as much as the next guy, but even I wouldn't let them rip their claws off with a cheese grater.. that just seems wrong!









Now how could I possibly pass up BARK OFF


This handy little device makes your dog stop barking with just the press of a button. However if any of you have met MY dog, you would probably quickly surmise that the odds of this product actually making him bark MORE are probably pretty darn high.








I must of course give a special honorable infomercial mention to things that have already BEEN invented, like for instance

THE BOWL
(but hey, looks like it comes with the SLAP CHOP!)














and THE CARDBOARD BOX


 (ok so it's a cardboard box WITH a handle)











Well I am off to curl up in my SNUGGIE












next to my COZZY FIRE




(why yes it IS a giant picture of a fire, but it apparently heats up.. and you hang it on your wall... uhhhhhh... what could POSSIBLY go wrong there?)

Comments

Michelle Coffman said…
Hahahahaha! The Shake Weight! Hahahahaha! When I first saw that commercial, I TOTALLY thought the same thing!
November 23, 2010 at 7:42 AM
Mrs. Carol said…
I don't stay up like I used to...but I did my that hair straightening thing once and I returned it because....I got so tangled and wasn't coordinated enough to use it--I pleaded "OLD" and got some of my money back.
November 23, 2010 at 10:27 AM
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